We took the week before Christmas off this year to visit “my” family. OK, so we skipped church – it just seemed like too much work with the kids and I didn’t want to have the argument with my wife again. The holiday was great, though – lots of presents, food, and celebration – that is what makes Christmas so great.
On the way home from our week long vacation, my wife and I got on state highway 79. Still almost a full days drive and we hop on the 55 mile an hour, one lane in each direction, road to nowhere. Over forty miles to the turn off on route 88, two glorious lanes each way – then we are really headed home.
I had been yelled at several times on the way here about driving too aggressively – I don’t need the headache on the way home. I let the purple mini-van have the right of way even though I could have made it. I turn right after him and start following the Purple people mover down the road. Oh, was that a mistake. He must have the cruise control set at 57. Just slow enough to be annoying, just fast enough to keep me from passing. After spending a week in the country, I am not about to give some local Sheriff a belated christmas present by gunning it. Maybe our purple van will turn.
Ah – then there is hope – 6 miles in, we pass through Oakville. Slow down to 37 (limit of 35), but it stays one lane in each direction. Our purple pain stays on the road – an impenetrable force. Man this guy is an idiot. Doesn’t he see the impatience in my eyes – I have a long way to go and he is out for a Sunday drive. Man, I loved the movie, but I am really starting to hate the color purple – and ya know, he could wash the van. It is dirty. And his right rear tire looks a little out of alignment. What a jerk.
30 miles to go. This idiot is still in front of me. Now I am dreaming of Nascar wondering how bad it would be for me to just put him in the wall. “Rubbing is racing,” right? No – that would be way too violent. What if I start praying for a flat tire? That will stop him.
20 miles to go. McDonald’s may be the savior. He slows down slightly as the Golden Arches approach. Is he getting lunch? Alas, he was letting another car get in front of us on this road to nowhere. Could he do me a favor and get out of the way?
10 miles to go. I have resigned my fate to follow this @#$$%%#$$ until we finally get to route 88. Where is that voodoo doll?
Finally . . . We reach the intersection and much to my surprise, Purple is turning left. Whippee – God is with us. I am turning right. The haunting is over. He stops, looks, drives forward and then it happened in an instant.
The purple van was sent hurtling right in front of my wife and I. The kids shrieked from the seat behind me. The intersection is NOT a 4 way stop – an 18 wheeler full of lumber hit the van broadside at over 50 miles an hour. I pulled over and ran to the van only to find that God had already taken the driver.
We live in an impersonal world of emails, text messages, and often forget that we are all human. My wife and I were left wondering if the timing were a bit different, would we have been seeing our Maker instead of the man in the purple van; would my kids have been growing up without parents. My apologies for all my thoughts – I shall not sweat the small things anymore.
Adapted from a true story
Jordan Resnick and Gene Pricer
12/28/2009